Home ownership, thy name is suckfest.

So long story short - turned on heater.

Puff of smoke came out of Brynn's bedroom vent and all the smoke alarms go off.

My brain goes "huh, this seems bad."

I call Furnace fix it man.

He comes.

I tell him the story.

He says "huh, that seems bad."

He looks at furnace.

It is bad.

Furnace has literally blown up on the inside. Blown. up.

Furnace must be replaced. Not fixed. Thrown out and replaced.

Furnace fix it man gets out a book I like to call "Furnaces for sale" AKA your kids will no longer be going to college, so sad for you.

He espouses the virtues of various furnaces.

He quotes me many prices.

I do not pick.

I tell him to come back and I will pick tomorrow.

I call Chad and tell him he is getting a new furnace for Christmas.

I calculate the number of shoes I could have purchased for the price of a new furnace and I cry inside a little.