Cucumber Showdown.
Listen, I'm not above a little subterfuge. I think, on many levels, good parenting takes a little trickery, a little smoke and mirrors, a little slight of hand.
Case in point - Grace is a very picky eater. She actually dislikes almost nothing, but she THINKS she dislikes everything. I'm boiling that kid like a frog - one bite of vegetables at a time.
It's big around here to ask if you liked something when you were a baby. Every time I make a new recipe someone will ask "Mom, did I like [insert name of new cuisine here] when I was a baby?"
I pause. I take a deep breath. And then...
I lie.
I lie big time. "Yep," I say. "Yep, yep, yep. Loved it. Couldn't get enough. How have you lasted this long without eating this? My word, I'm a terrible mother. Here- hurry- eat this before you have to live through one moment of suffering!!!"
Ok, fine, I'm exaggerating. But I do lie and say they loved it as babies. And sometimes I throw an enthusiastic "yummers" in there to give my lie a ring of validity.
Last night I tried a new tactic...competition.
After watching Grace twirl a cucumber spear around on her plate for 10 mins, using my peripheral vision mind you, don't want to give away my position, anyway, 10 mins, twirling...I hear "my gosh mom, I'm soooo full. Can I be excused?"
"You didn't eat your cucumbers."
"Yes I did." (I gave you four, plate shows four, kids also lie about vegetables, confirmed.)
"Try to finish 1." (I don't know why I always say this. Does eating 1 cucumber spear give you some health benefit. Even at one bite a day I'm not sure that the vegetables total up enough nutrition to support blinking, but still I say it every time.)
"Oh mom, I'm just so full."
"Ok, then you are excused. Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"I dare you to try and finish one cucumber before I can."
"Oh come on, mom."
"No I'm serious. Just 1. Bragging rights. Of course, if you are scared I will beat you..."
"Please, mom, you could never beat me."
"Alright then. Put your cucumber where your mouth is."
Next thing I know we are snarfing down cucumbers like fiends. I may or may not have thrown a round or two to let her gain cucumber momentum. Suddenly her cucumbers were gone and low and behold we were tied.
"Tie breaker," she says. She takes another cucumber - not originally on her plate (!!) and somehow, she "wins" and we both live to eat another day.
"That was awesome, Mom. Cucumber showdown."
"Next time," I say. "Next time, my friend, you are totally going down."
"Oh yeah?" And then she pulls this:
Cucumber priceless.
Case in point - Grace is a very picky eater. She actually dislikes almost nothing, but she THINKS she dislikes everything. I'm boiling that kid like a frog - one bite of vegetables at a time.
It's big around here to ask if you liked something when you were a baby. Every time I make a new recipe someone will ask "Mom, did I like [insert name of new cuisine here] when I was a baby?"
I pause. I take a deep breath. And then...
I lie.
I lie big time. "Yep," I say. "Yep, yep, yep. Loved it. Couldn't get enough. How have you lasted this long without eating this? My word, I'm a terrible mother. Here- hurry- eat this before you have to live through one moment of suffering!!!"
Ok, fine, I'm exaggerating. But I do lie and say they loved it as babies. And sometimes I throw an enthusiastic "yummers" in there to give my lie a ring of validity.
Last night I tried a new tactic...competition.
After watching Grace twirl a cucumber spear around on her plate for 10 mins, using my peripheral vision mind you, don't want to give away my position, anyway, 10 mins, twirling...I hear "my gosh mom, I'm soooo full. Can I be excused?"
"You didn't eat your cucumbers."
"Yes I did." (I gave you four, plate shows four, kids also lie about vegetables, confirmed.)
"Try to finish 1." (I don't know why I always say this. Does eating 1 cucumber spear give you some health benefit. Even at one bite a day I'm not sure that the vegetables total up enough nutrition to support blinking, but still I say it every time.)
"Oh mom, I'm just so full."
"Ok, then you are excused. Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"I dare you to try and finish one cucumber before I can."
"Oh come on, mom."
"No I'm serious. Just 1. Bragging rights. Of course, if you are scared I will beat you..."
"Please, mom, you could never beat me."
"Alright then. Put your cucumber where your mouth is."
Next thing I know we are snarfing down cucumbers like fiends. I may or may not have thrown a round or two to let her gain cucumber momentum. Suddenly her cucumbers were gone and low and behold we were tied.
"Tie breaker," she says. She takes another cucumber - not originally on her plate (!!) and somehow, she "wins" and we both live to eat another day.
"That was awesome, Mom. Cucumber showdown."
"Next time," I say. "Next time, my friend, you are totally going down."
"Oh yeah?" And then she pulls this:
Cucumber priceless.
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