Letters from a Weary Traveler

It all started with a simple Facebook post:

Dear Self,

Seeing the movie Contagion and then expecting to live in the work unaffected - genius plan.

And then I realized I hadn't written and letters post in a while and well, a letters post is my favorite post. So I'm traveling, I'm tired and I'm writing letters. Go ahead and cheer -I'll wait.

Ready?

Great - here we go:

Dear TSA,

Your new security protocol -- "please state your name" -- wow. You should be very proud that was a tough code to crack.

love,
Lisa. Christensen. (Bawaahaha. Can't stump me!)

Dear Smelta Airlines,

If you could never say the words "equipment change" to me again that would be really, really great.

love,
Sucked in by that Medallion you gave me

Dear germs who gave my kids the stomach flu 12 hours before I had to get on an airplane,

Think Purell. Think Lysol. Think soap. Think lye. Oh yes, lye. Whn I get my hands on you - total. destruction.

Fiercely,
Mom on the war path

Dear Chad,

Could I love you more? I can't imagine how. 

Love,
The girl whose sick kids you are tending



Dear CNN,

I don't watch the news for a week and somehow Herman Cain (founder of Godfather's Pizza) has moved up to #2 in the GOP Race? Is everyone in this country on crack? 999 plan? I'm not smart enough to know if that will work, but the pizza CEO? really? Are you making this stuff up?

Also do you think we could get people to start campaigning 3 years before the actual election? I feel like 2 years just isn't annoying enough.

Love,
big fan of the primary political beauty pageant you are hosting because without it what would be my excuse for yelling at the TV?

And finally ...

Dear tired brain,

When I'm in a cab and I crack the window so that I don't sweat to death, please don't send me thoughts like "Oh my word, I hope I don't accidentally throw my phone out the window." ?!?! These thoughts are neither rational, nor helpful. They are crazy rantings happening inside a tired mind. When I want your paranoia, I'll ask for it.

love,
the rest of me

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