A little birdie told me.
I don't know a gentler way to say this, so I'll just come right out with it.
Brynn is obsessed with flipping the bird. OBSESSED.
I'm partly responsible for this obsession. No, not because I'm routinely flipping people off. She was always pointing with her middle finger and one day I asked her not to because it means a bad word.
That was all it took. I could see the hamster wheel spinning in her little brain.
A bad word?!? The middle finger is taboo? Forbidden, even? Surely, I heard my mother wrong. I should be sure, 100% proof positive, absolutely certain that the middle finger is bad. I'll ask her. Not 1. Not 2. No. 780,000 times. I'll throw in the action just in case she is confused about the finger to which I refer.
So began the month long saga of Brynn routinly flipping me off, but only in an effort to be sure the middle finger is bad.
So I can point with this finger (pointing index finger), right?
Or this finger (ring finger waving solely in the air)?
Of even this one (pinkie at high noon)?
But not this one right (bird)?
How about a thumb? Is a thumb bad?
(Bird) but this one is really bad, huh?
(Bird still standing at attention) how bad is it? Realy, really bad? The worst word ever? Do I know this word? What word is it? Why won't you tell me?
[Um, cause then in addition to flipping me off 400 times a day, you will also ask me to verify that this word is indeed the world's worst word and such words shouldn't come from your tiny innocent mouth.]
Can I point with this finger (BIRD)?
What if I don't mean it bad (BIRD)?
What if I use it to point (BIRD) but say I don't mean it bad? Is it still bad?
(BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD) Is it bad on the left hand too or just the right?
So here I am with my flipping five year old (ha!) trying to maintain an appropriate level of stoicism. I learned long ago that forbidding Brynn to do something is totally counterproductive. So I sit, in the car, at the dinner table, in the grocery store, at my mom's, at karate, on the ride home from preschool all the while controlling my face, so that not so much as a tick betrays my true emotion. Flip me off all you want kid, you won't get a reaction out of me.
Yes, the birds flew at our house for over a month. Daily. Flocks and flocks of inquisitive birds. Then they stopped. I held my breath thinking maybe, just maybe the flipping had passed.
Then I heard Brynn crying from the backseat of the van .
What's wrong? I ask.
B: I almost said a swear!
L: What?
B: A swear. I almost said a swear.
L: What do you mean?
B: I almost stuck my finger up. My bad finger. My swear finger.
L: Ok, well you didn't so its ok. Don't worry about it alright?
B: Ok. [wipes tears] Hey mom?
L: What?
B: (BIRD) this is a swear right?
Ah, geez. Here we go again.
Brynn is obsessed with flipping the bird. OBSESSED.
I'm partly responsible for this obsession. No, not because I'm routinely flipping people off. She was always pointing with her middle finger and one day I asked her not to because it means a bad word.
That was all it took. I could see the hamster wheel spinning in her little brain.
A bad word?!? The middle finger is taboo? Forbidden, even? Surely, I heard my mother wrong. I should be sure, 100% proof positive, absolutely certain that the middle finger is bad. I'll ask her. Not 1. Not 2. No. 780,000 times. I'll throw in the action just in case she is confused about the finger to which I refer.
So began the month long saga of Brynn routinly flipping me off, but only in an effort to be sure the middle finger is bad.
So I can point with this finger (pointing index finger), right?
Or this finger (ring finger waving solely in the air)?
Of even this one (pinkie at high noon)?
But not this one right (bird)?
How about a thumb? Is a thumb bad?
(Bird) but this one is really bad, huh?
(Bird still standing at attention) how bad is it? Realy, really bad? The worst word ever? Do I know this word? What word is it? Why won't you tell me?
[Um, cause then in addition to flipping me off 400 times a day, you will also ask me to verify that this word is indeed the world's worst word and such words shouldn't come from your tiny innocent mouth.]
Can I point with this finger (BIRD)?
What if I don't mean it bad (BIRD)?
What if I use it to point (BIRD) but say I don't mean it bad? Is it still bad?
(BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD) Is it bad on the left hand too or just the right?
So here I am with my flipping five year old (ha!) trying to maintain an appropriate level of stoicism. I learned long ago that forbidding Brynn to do something is totally counterproductive. So I sit, in the car, at the dinner table, in the grocery store, at my mom's, at karate, on the ride home from preschool all the while controlling my face, so that not so much as a tick betrays my true emotion. Flip me off all you want kid, you won't get a reaction out of me.
Yes, the birds flew at our house for over a month. Daily. Flocks and flocks of inquisitive birds. Then they stopped. I held my breath thinking maybe, just maybe the flipping had passed.
Then I heard Brynn crying from the backseat of the van .
What's wrong? I ask.
B: I almost said a swear!
L: What?
B: A swear. I almost said a swear.
L: What do you mean?
B: I almost stuck my finger up. My bad finger. My swear finger.
L: Ok, well you didn't so its ok. Don't worry about it alright?
B: Ok. [wipes tears] Hey mom?
L: What?
B: (BIRD) this is a swear right?
Ah, geez. Here we go again.
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