Fairy Tale Friday and naked Elves.
This morning I did my motherly duty and went to Fairy Tale Friday in Brynn's kindergarten class, during which time I read a story, The Elves and the Shoemaker, helped the kids retell the story through a sequencing activity and made cutouts of shoes with holes in them so they could do a lacing activity and then decorate their shoes.
All very simple right?
In and out in 30 minutes. No worries.
Except I went to three stores and the only book I could find had pictures in it like this:
That's right. Elf Porn.
L: "What am I supposed to do? I can't go in and read a naked elf story to a room full of 5 year olds!"
C: "Maybe they won't pick up on the fact that the elves are naked?"
L: "Are you serious? Watch this."
I then hand the book to Brynn and the first words out of her mouth were: "Why are the elves naked?"
I kid you not.
L: "Every kid in that class is going to go home and tell their parents how I read them a story about naked elves. I'm going to get a rep."
C: "Maybe we could color the elves in?"
Great. Apparently when push comes to shove, we believe in censorship.
Last night on my way to the craft store to find paper and yarn to make my shoe lacing cards, I was wishing there was somewhere with more book choices than Barnes and Noble, somewhere that would loan you the book and you could take it back when you were done. If only there were such a magical place. Like a Hollywood Video for books.
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw it. The Library!!
Apparently when all the Hollywood Videos and Blockbusters went bankrupt somethings blocked the library-memory receptors in my brain. I have literally been wishing for a Hollywood Video for books for 5 straight days. {sigh}
In only 5 minutes I was able to find a darling version where the elves were both cute and clothed.
Fairy Tale Friday went off without a hitch and I'm pretty confident no angry parents with pitch forks will storming my house tonight.
All very simple right?
In and out in 30 minutes. No worries.
Except I went to three stores and the only book I could find had pictures in it like this:
 |
| They have absolutely no anatomical features - I think that might actually make me more afraid of this book. |
L: "What am I supposed to do? I can't go in and read a naked elf story to a room full of 5 year olds!"
C: "Maybe they won't pick up on the fact that the elves are naked?"
L: "Are you serious? Watch this."
I then hand the book to Brynn and the first words out of her mouth were: "Why are the elves naked?"
I kid you not.
L: "Every kid in that class is going to go home and tell their parents how I read them a story about naked elves. I'm going to get a rep."
C: "Maybe we could color the elves in?"
Great. Apparently when push comes to shove, we believe in censorship.
Last night on my way to the craft store to find paper and yarn to make my shoe lacing cards, I was wishing there was somewhere with more book choices than Barnes and Noble, somewhere that would loan you the book and you could take it back when you were done. If only there were such a magical place. Like a Hollywood Video for books.
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw it. The Library!!
Apparently when all the Hollywood Videos and Blockbusters went bankrupt somethings blocked the library-memory receptors in my brain. I have literally been wishing for a Hollywood Video for books for 5 straight days. {sigh}
In only 5 minutes I was able to find a darling version where the elves were both cute and clothed.
Fairy Tale Friday went off without a hitch and I'm pretty confident no angry parents with pitch forks will storming my house tonight.
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