My Screaming Manifesto about the stupidity of teeth.
Teeth should just work. Work properly as they were intended to work, with no intervention.
They are a pretty requisite part of existing on this planet. You want to eat things besides pudding and polenta and yogurt? You will need teeth.
I realize you get two sets and on the surface this makes sense. Your mouth is so tiny at the beginning that you need tiny teeth to go with it. The concept that bigger, more effective teeth will grow in later as your mouth is bigger, and we hope more effective, is logical.
The fact that your first set of teeth last you about 5 years before they start falling out and your next set of teeth are supposed to last you 95 some odd years...that's where I start to have a problem with the whole teeth plan.
1st set grows in straight. 2nd set grows in however it darn well pleases.
These follow up teeth are a real nuisance. Even if you take really good care of them they will still have to be straightened, buffed, polished, xrayed, drilled and filled.
These fillings will work, but only for a while. "All filings fail eventually." Really? Then we should get better fillings. It's 2011. Lets have Superman fillings. I want granite teeth with no possibility of decay.
I want my never ending flossing to mean something. As a reward for my diligent flossing, I want my granite teeth to shine like the sun bouncing off fresh snow.
I want a spray that prevents tooth decay. Superman spray tan for teeth. They have a spray that prevents your car from rusting - let's get those people working on a tooth solution.
I want to roll back the clock and be born with teeth that will always be functional, always be straight, never be painful and not require 30 years of dental intervention to keep them in my head.
I spent 2.5 hours at the dentist again today. (Ah, you say, rant is making so much more sense in context.)
I'm still having problems with the tooth they fixed last time. They took some new xrays. (I'm also curious to know why in 2011 you still have to be draped in lead to get your molar xrayed. It makes me nervous the giant lead apron...) Anyway, long story short, they don't know why this tooth is still bugging me. All we can think is that the nerve might be dying, so now I'm armed with two emergency prescriptions and am on molar suicide watch.
I had another "leaky filling" fixed. Promptly this time, so it doesn't appear that it's going to cause me any serious problems. I think today was a one and done for tooth #2.
As for tooth #1, we're going to see how it all goes, but Dr. B will probably want to touch up the filling next time he sees me. Eh? Does touching up require Novocaine? Yes, he said. Then don't molly coddle me man, that's not touching up. That's just a big old filing.
Speaking of Novocaine, Dr B used so much Novocaine today that I walked out of there looking like I'd had a mild stroke on my left side. Not pretty. Oh so not pretty. I managed not to cry all the way home this time, so that's something.
They are a pretty requisite part of existing on this planet. You want to eat things besides pudding and polenta and yogurt? You will need teeth.
I realize you get two sets and on the surface this makes sense. Your mouth is so tiny at the beginning that you need tiny teeth to go with it. The concept that bigger, more effective teeth will grow in later as your mouth is bigger, and we hope more effective, is logical.
The fact that your first set of teeth last you about 5 years before they start falling out and your next set of teeth are supposed to last you 95 some odd years...that's where I start to have a problem with the whole teeth plan.
1st set grows in straight. 2nd set grows in however it darn well pleases.
These follow up teeth are a real nuisance. Even if you take really good care of them they will still have to be straightened, buffed, polished, xrayed, drilled and filled.
These fillings will work, but only for a while. "All filings fail eventually." Really? Then we should get better fillings. It's 2011. Lets have Superman fillings. I want granite teeth with no possibility of decay.
I want my never ending flossing to mean something. As a reward for my diligent flossing, I want my granite teeth to shine like the sun bouncing off fresh snow.
I want a spray that prevents tooth decay. Superman spray tan for teeth. They have a spray that prevents your car from rusting - let's get those people working on a tooth solution.
I want to roll back the clock and be born with teeth that will always be functional, always be straight, never be painful and not require 30 years of dental intervention to keep them in my head.
I spent 2.5 hours at the dentist again today. (Ah, you say, rant is making so much more sense in context.)
I'm still having problems with the tooth they fixed last time. They took some new xrays. (I'm also curious to know why in 2011 you still have to be draped in lead to get your molar xrayed. It makes me nervous the giant lead apron...) Anyway, long story short, they don't know why this tooth is still bugging me. All we can think is that the nerve might be dying, so now I'm armed with two emergency prescriptions and am on molar suicide watch.
I had another "leaky filling" fixed. Promptly this time, so it doesn't appear that it's going to cause me any serious problems. I think today was a one and done for tooth #2.
As for tooth #1, we're going to see how it all goes, but Dr. B will probably want to touch up the filling next time he sees me. Eh? Does touching up require Novocaine? Yes, he said. Then don't molly coddle me man, that's not touching up. That's just a big old filing.
Speaking of Novocaine, Dr B used so much Novocaine today that I walked out of there looking like I'd had a mild stroke on my left side. Not pretty. Oh so not pretty. I managed not to cry all the way home this time, so that's something.
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