Baby Brynn is a Blue Belt (say that 5 times fast)
Brynn promoted to a blue belt! We're proud of here. It was a big promotion. There were tons of people and she had to be right out in the middle of it all. I could tell she was pretty nervous, but she didn't show it. She just went out there and kicked her little heart out.
She's done a good job overcoming her "nervousing." (Used to be nerms, now it's nervousing - love it)
We tried to make it a big deal for her. She's the little sister, coming up behind a big sister who everyone praises and dotes on for her mad karate skills. After promotion we let Brynn pick the dinner locale. She choose - IHOP.
Um, what? ok, yummers.
Surprisingly this choice sent Grace into a complete meltdown. IHOP? Why not Village Inn?? It's the same thing, except it's better. And she went on...
And on...
And on...
So I sent Brynn and Chad ahead (we were in two cars) and Grace and I hung out in the parking lot for a few minutes.
"So do you want to tell me what's going on with you?"
"Nothing. I just hate IHOP."
"This is a lot of crying for hating IHOP."
"It's just...well..."
Don't be fooled - I know exactly what the issue is, but the challenge of a non-expressive child is getting her to express things. I won't always be there to be her emotional interpreter. (Though I do speak 11 fairly masterfully. just sayin.)
"You don't like IHOP..."
"It's just that if I got to pick, I would pick somewhere everyone liked."
"Seriously? If Brynn started crying about something you picked you would say ok, Brynn where do you want to go instead?"
"Well no, but I would feel bad that she was crying."
"Oh, so you would make her cry but feel bad about it."
"Yes, and she doesn't even feel bad!"
"But it's a big night for her, babe and it's good for her to get a turn to feel special."
"But I don't feel special."
EUREKA! We have emotional based communication!
What transpired was a long and serious conversation about how someone else's success doesn't mean that we are failures. We talked about not being jealous, but being excited for other people when they accomplish something. How I will always love everyone the same, but life will not always be exactly equal.
We arrived at IHOP and Grace quite lovingly praised her baby sis for a job well done, admired her new belt and ate her pancakes will no fuss. (All with no prodding from me, I might add.)
So one person battled her nervousing and one person battled her jealousy and I had a hot chocolate, which is about as good a mothering day as you can get.
She's done a good job overcoming her "nervousing." (Used to be nerms, now it's nervousing - love it)
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| Brynn, 7 years, Blue Belt Promotion |
We tried to make it a big deal for her. She's the little sister, coming up behind a big sister who everyone praises and dotes on for her mad karate skills. After promotion we let Brynn pick the dinner locale. She choose - IHOP.
Um, what? ok, yummers.
Surprisingly this choice sent Grace into a complete meltdown. IHOP? Why not Village Inn?? It's the same thing, except it's better. And she went on...
And on...
And on...
So I sent Brynn and Chad ahead (we were in two cars) and Grace and I hung out in the parking lot for a few minutes.
"So do you want to tell me what's going on with you?"
"Nothing. I just hate IHOP."
"This is a lot of crying for hating IHOP."
"It's just...well..."
Don't be fooled - I know exactly what the issue is, but the challenge of a non-expressive child is getting her to express things. I won't always be there to be her emotional interpreter. (Though I do speak 11 fairly masterfully. just sayin.)
"You don't like IHOP..."
"It's just that if I got to pick, I would pick somewhere everyone liked."
"Seriously? If Brynn started crying about something you picked you would say ok, Brynn where do you want to go instead?"
"Well no, but I would feel bad that she was crying."
"Oh, so you would make her cry but feel bad about it."
"Yes, and she doesn't even feel bad!"
"But it's a big night for her, babe and it's good for her to get a turn to feel special."
"But I don't feel special."
EUREKA! We have emotional based communication!
What transpired was a long and serious conversation about how someone else's success doesn't mean that we are failures. We talked about not being jealous, but being excited for other people when they accomplish something. How I will always love everyone the same, but life will not always be exactly equal.
We arrived at IHOP and Grace quite lovingly praised her baby sis for a job well done, admired her new belt and ate her pancakes will no fuss. (All with no prodding from me, I might add.)
So one person battled her nervousing and one person battled her jealousy and I had a hot chocolate, which is about as good a mothering day as you can get.
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