Mistaken Identity
Dear debt collector,
My name is very common. I'm not the person you are looking for. I don't even have a Chase credit card or any of the other delinquent accounts attributed to my doppleganger. Sorry, I won't give you my Social Security number, birthday and address. That's like begging you to steal my already thinly veiled identity, but you can tell me the info you have and I'll tell you it's not me. 45 times.
Oh, you have more addresses? Bring it on, maybe then I'll suddenly remember I was actually born in 1963. Ah, nope. sorry. Nope, there's no other information I want to tell you. Yep, you have a good day too.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Not that Lisa C.
Dear in arrears Lisa C.,
I'm getting really, really, really tired of screening your phone calls. Every. single. day. I can tell because it used to cause my heart to jump a little when they said "attempt to collect a debt." Now nary a flutter or a baited breath. Perhaps you could call Chase and get them off my back?
thx,
Not you!
Dear parents of kids who go to that new charter school,
No, this is not such and such academy. Yes, I'm sure. Please check the number carefully when you dial. We are only one number off, it is easy to make a mistake.
Thank you,
proud owner of a residential phone number
Hello again charter school parent,
Don't just hit redial. It doesn't change the outcome of having dialed the number incorrectly. Yes, I'm sure. Not my first day using a phone.
Thanks,
Still not who you think we are
My name is very common. I'm not the person you are looking for. I don't even have a Chase credit card or any of the other delinquent accounts attributed to my doppleganger. Sorry, I won't give you my Social Security number, birthday and address. That's like begging you to steal my already thinly veiled identity, but you can tell me the info you have and I'll tell you it's not me. 45 times.
Oh, you have more addresses? Bring it on, maybe then I'll suddenly remember I was actually born in 1963. Ah, nope. sorry. Nope, there's no other information I want to tell you. Yep, you have a good day too.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Not that Lisa C.
Dear in arrears Lisa C.,
I'm getting really, really, really tired of screening your phone calls. Every. single. day. I can tell because it used to cause my heart to jump a little when they said "attempt to collect a debt." Now nary a flutter or a baited breath. Perhaps you could call Chase and get them off my back?
thx,
Not you!
Dear parents of kids who go to that new charter school,
No, this is not such and such academy. Yes, I'm sure. Please check the number carefully when you dial. We are only one number off, it is easy to make a mistake.
Thank you,
proud owner of a residential phone number
Hello again charter school parent,
Don't just hit redial. It doesn't change the outcome of having dialed the number incorrectly. Yes, I'm sure. Not my first day using a phone.
Thanks,
Still not who you think we are
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