Embracing your Inner Vampire
We hit a local Halloween Festival this afternoon and had a great time! We played games, the girls ran like wild monkeys through several bounce houses. We survived a Jr. haunted house - not a good choice, Dad, not to say I told you so. No one cried, but it got the distinct thumbs down from Grace and poor Brynn, with her head buried in my shoulder said to Chad - "why are you trying to make me so scared?" Perhaps Chad hasn't noticed that we have slept with the hall light on for 8 years! Our kids don't do dark, but I digress.
The best part of today was face painting - hands down. Brynn chose a kitty cat face, which I will be recreating for her on Halloween. I normally just do a little nose and some whiskers on the cheeks - boring! There's a new plan now. Brynn would also like to add sparkly pink cheeks to her finished Halloween look, so we are going to glam her up a bit. As we were driving home, she asked my favorite question of the day ... "Mom can cats wear lip gloss?" To which I naturally said "Oh course my love, the sparklier, the better."
Grace chose a scary vampire face. The girl painting Grace's face gave it a little feminine touch by giving her eyebrows, instead of the widows peak and making the lips a little more girly, but it was a big, scary, sort of kubuki-esqe, vampire face. Sweet, little Grace was in hog heaven. People were definitely looking at her as we walked around - she was sort of hard to miss. She tugged on my arm and as I bent down she whispered to me "Mom, people are looking at me. Do you think they love my make up?" "Yes my love," I said. " They love it." Grace called my mom tonight to tell her about the vampire face. "My mom is going to blog my picture, Grandma" she said. "When you look at it be sure to call and tell me how much you love it!"
Recently, an old High School friend of mine posted some pictures from our 10th HS reunion online. I didn't go to that little gala. I had been "found" by the time the reunion rolled around, but at the time I remember saying something to Chad about having to drag my cold, lifeless body to such an affair... Even now, just looking at those pictures made me really nervous. Before facebook I would have sworn six ways to Sunday that no one I went to HS with even remembered me.
What does this have to do with vampire faces, you ask?
One of my favorite things about Grace is that she doesn't care about standing out. If she loves something she goes for it, even if it is a little out of the norm. I never in a million years would have painted my face like a vampire. I would have literally died to stick out that way. I remember in HS trying really, really hard to fit in. I went to 3 different high schools, so I was always new and on the outside looking for a place to belong. I spent a lot of time feeling bad about myself. In lots of ways I was the same person I am now, but I tried hard no to be quite so much of myself.
When I went to college I decided I would try to get over the whole low self esteem thing and by the time I turned 25 I had pretty much succeeded. Now I truly just don't care about fitting in - most of the time. ;) I like who I am now, but when I think of the painful years it took to get here. I just don't wish that on my daughters.
As I watch them go out into the world, I just hope life doesn't beat the individuality out of them. I don't worry too much about Brynn yet. She's just in preschool and preschool is still pretty accepting of individuality. But by 2nd grade, you are already starting to realize there is an in crowd...we've made some subtle changes as a result. Grace refused to wear matching socks well into kindergarten. Matching socks just weren't pretty. Why wear two pink socks when you could wear one pink and one green? Well now her socks not only match, but most of the time she insists that they be white.
It's a fine line. You have to help your kids conform enough to succeed and have friends, but you can't squash the individuality out of them because it's the best of who they are. I loved the vampire face today. I loved it because she loved it. It totally isn't what I would have chosen, which made me love it even more.
I hope my girls don't waste one minute of their lives doubting themselves, worrying about what others think of them. I hope they learn from me that trying to fit in is pointless. There isn't anything to fit in to. Everyone is trying to fit in. Just be yourself and the people you love will fill in the spaces around you. Next thing you know, you'll have a great, full life and you'll be comfortable and like who you are. It is far superior to always feeling bad - trust me. I've tried both.
Grace you are the most fabulous person I know. You have talent coming out your ears, kid. You are a smart, funny, loving little person with so much to offer others. Love who you are, because it's who you are meant to be. Embrace your inner vampire, my love and don't ever let anyone give you grief for doing it.
And now a few pics of the Halloween Festival...
Happy Sisters - Before
And After!
Getting a kitty cat face
Grace transforms!
I wish I could remember what I was thinking when Chad took this, because judging by the look on my face - I'll bet it was funny! :)
The best part of today was face painting - hands down. Brynn chose a kitty cat face, which I will be recreating for her on Halloween. I normally just do a little nose and some whiskers on the cheeks - boring! There's a new plan now. Brynn would also like to add sparkly pink cheeks to her finished Halloween look, so we are going to glam her up a bit. As we were driving home, she asked my favorite question of the day ... "Mom can cats wear lip gloss?" To which I naturally said "Oh course my love, the sparklier, the better."Grace chose a scary vampire face. The girl painting Grace's face gave it a little feminine touch by giving her eyebrows, instead of the widows peak and making the lips a little more girly, but it was a big, scary, sort of kubuki-esqe, vampire face. Sweet, little Grace was in hog heaven. People were definitely looking at her as we walked around - she was sort of hard to miss. She tugged on my arm and as I bent down she whispered to me "Mom, people are looking at me. Do you think they love my make up?" "Yes my love," I said. " They love it." Grace called my mom tonight to tell her about the vampire face. "My mom is going to blog my picture, Grandma" she said. "When you look at it be sure to call and tell me how much you love it!"
Recently, an old High School friend of mine posted some pictures from our 10th HS reunion online. I didn't go to that little gala. I had been "found" by the time the reunion rolled around, but at the time I remember saying something to Chad about having to drag my cold, lifeless body to such an affair... Even now, just looking at those pictures made me really nervous. Before facebook I would have sworn six ways to Sunday that no one I went to HS with even remembered me.
What does this have to do with vampire faces, you ask?
One of my favorite things about Grace is that she doesn't care about standing out. If she loves something she goes for it, even if it is a little out of the norm. I never in a million years would have painted my face like a vampire. I would have literally died to stick out that way. I remember in HS trying really, really hard to fit in. I went to 3 different high schools, so I was always new and on the outside looking for a place to belong. I spent a lot of time feeling bad about myself. In lots of ways I was the same person I am now, but I tried hard no to be quite so much of myself.
When I went to college I decided I would try to get over the whole low self esteem thing and by the time I turned 25 I had pretty much succeeded. Now I truly just don't care about fitting in - most of the time. ;) I like who I am now, but when I think of the painful years it took to get here. I just don't wish that on my daughters.
As I watch them go out into the world, I just hope life doesn't beat the individuality out of them. I don't worry too much about Brynn yet. She's just in preschool and preschool is still pretty accepting of individuality. But by 2nd grade, you are already starting to realize there is an in crowd...we've made some subtle changes as a result. Grace refused to wear matching socks well into kindergarten. Matching socks just weren't pretty. Why wear two pink socks when you could wear one pink and one green? Well now her socks not only match, but most of the time she insists that they be white.
It's a fine line. You have to help your kids conform enough to succeed and have friends, but you can't squash the individuality out of them because it's the best of who they are. I loved the vampire face today. I loved it because she loved it. It totally isn't what I would have chosen, which made me love it even more.
I hope my girls don't waste one minute of their lives doubting themselves, worrying about what others think of them. I hope they learn from me that trying to fit in is pointless. There isn't anything to fit in to. Everyone is trying to fit in. Just be yourself and the people you love will fill in the spaces around you. Next thing you know, you'll have a great, full life and you'll be comfortable and like who you are. It is far superior to always feeling bad - trust me. I've tried both.
Grace you are the most fabulous person I know. You have talent coming out your ears, kid. You are a smart, funny, loving little person with so much to offer others. Love who you are, because it's who you are meant to be. Embrace your inner vampire, my love and don't ever let anyone give you grief for doing it.
And now a few pics of the Halloween Festival...
Happy Sisters - Before
And After! 
Getting a kitty cat face
Grace transforms!
I wish I could remember what I was thinking when Chad took this, because judging by the look on my face - I'll bet it was funny! :)
Comments
And I so loved the way you expressed your comments. So so true! Be who you are, and those you love will fill in around you. It is kind of scary to think that our sweet, little, innocent kids will possibly go through some of the same struggles we did and/or some of their own. We know we all have to do it, and yet it seems impossible to protect them in our little bubble. And so what do we do? We love them, teach them, lift them up, and support their "inner vampires!" Love you guys!
I'm totally stealing the cat face from Brynn's picture for Alyssa's Halloween cat too. Those are some talented face painters. Wow!
I loved your words. I just hope there is an easy way to teach our girls this concept that took you and I so so so long and much pain to figure out. If you find the easy way, let me know.
Lisa