Green Filters

I've been writing. It's both wonderful and gut wrenching. I was clipping along, feeling pretty good and then BAM! It all started to fall apart. I got writer's fright. What's that you say? Never heard of it? Sure you have. It's stage fright's lesser known cousin.

Yes, writer's fright and I are well acquainted. Have been for a while.

I have a problem trusting my voice. I see the world a certain way and it isn't in blogging sound bytes. It isn't in perfect pictures with interesting angles and vibrant colors. It isn't through never failing glasses with rosy tint. I admire all these perspectives, but they just aren't me.

Me? Well I see the world through an interesting lens of humor, weirdness, faith and sarcasm. Unique? For sure. Strange? Perhaps. Authentic. No doubt.

Thanks for my unique world view I sometimes suffer major writer's fright. I compare my work to others and wonder if the authenticity of my voice resonates with anyone besides me. (And yes, you mom.) Then I think "whatever, I don't care." But I know deep down I do (at least a little bit.)

So I start to second guess myself and end up shelving my words, hoping someday I'll have something more clever, more perfect, more inspirational to say.

But tonight Brynn was cuddled up in my lap. She looked up at me with all her tiny intensity and after serious study of my weary face, finally said "Wow mom, you have the greenest eyes I've even seen. Does anyone else have green eyes like that?"

And I thought, actually no. Close, but not quite like this. And tonight I started writing again. So here's to the world filtered through these bright green eyes.